Thanksgiving and Black Friday and all that shizzy

Well, Thanksgiving is here, or is coming then, isn't it? Here I go, I guess I can't resist. I HAVE to talk about Thanksgiving even though it drives me crazy that every single radio show is about THANKSGIVING or TURKEYS or FOOD on this, the fourth week of November. It's like I can't escape the hoo-ra but here I am adding to it. I am just pitiful.

So have you all heard of a "tofu turkey?" Yes, this is a real phenomenon, although I have never partaken of such fare. Even vegetarians do draw the line somewhere. Let me clear up just where that line falls: I have eaten sliced tofu turkey... like deli-style with mustard or swiss chees (mmm-mmm!), but a round rump (I guess you wouldn't call it "rump" per se... more like "clump") of wobbly product of bean I have no desire to explore-- not even for pure curiosity. I did eat "bean curd" in China though... and quite a lot of it. It was pretty wobbly... hmmm.... what was I saying about that line?

I would like to see a "whole" tofu turkey on a menu. Do you "slice" it? Would one put it on a sandwich on the second day? Is there such thing as tofurkey gravy?

I remember eating turkey sandwiches for a week after Thanksgiving as a kid. Do you still do that, my meat-eating readers? Do you look forward to the buttery turkey slathered with gooshy gravy each year only to find yourself feeling nauseated at the sight of turkey three days later? Do you begin to gobble on the fourth day?

Now let's talk about "BLACK FRIDAY." That ridiculous day where people actually line up, LINE UP PEOPLE outside of Walmart at 5:00 am just to stampede each other as if they are at a Beatles concert and buy a cheap crappy telly that will never compare to John Lennon or Paul McCartney and will blow out in a year anyway for fifty bucks or that waffle iron you've always wanted to get that "special someone" for the amazing deal of ten dollars (Great gift ideas, thanks Walmart!)

Is a deal like that really really worth the dignity that one loses by mooing and herding in the pre-dawn hours just to get in the door BEFORE those tellies sell out? I mean, come on. It's no wonder that our government was able to trick us into agreeing to the war in Iraq. We're like sheep. We depend on the media, advertising, and the government to tell us how we feel and where we go when. The corporations holller that they will give you a deal and we clamor like ants to a sugar bowl; we are ensnared! How that does resonate with our current political situation...

I have to give props to those good folks who use this undeclared holiday against the very consumers who make it happen. I'm talking about the enterprising people who go in and buy those discounted items to resell them and turn a profit. Thank goodness someone is taking advantage of the schemes of the corporations and our own weakness for advertising.

I guess one thing I hate more than those Turkey bits on NPR is when the news starts reporting on all the action of "Black Friday." I mean, way to feed the monster. Make everyone even more involved in the goings-on than they already were, and suck me into the mess as well.

This year I have come to understand that all of "the holidays" are just days. We look forward to them so much-- but what are we really looking forward to? We are looking forward to an excuse to get together with our families, relax, stop thinking about WORK WORK WORK and let loose a little bit. The thing is, why wait for a holiday? If we were just a little more balanced, we would be able to enjoy those things on a regular basis.

Now that would be cause for celebration.